ive never ever realized the power of the word love until now. the problem is when the feeling isnt mutual. i feel so shitty. goodnight.
guys guys guys its been so long. so much has happened! i kinda have a boy in my life and i just turned 18 and life is very good with only a little bad :)
i just want to art. ya know
from scary to adorbs! this girl is the bomb
so i started a journal so haven’t been using this as much. but life is so goood. i kinda have a boy in my life. like not a relationship but kinda. its weird and exciting and new and i’m very happy. :)
i’m sooooo confused with sooo many things.
FIRST COLLEGE ACCEPTANCE!!! Feels sooo goood!!
sometimes everything really does work itself out! :)
Thoughts on this fine sunday afternoon:
1. Happy Birthday to my 20 year old big bro! 20! shit thats crazy and i’m not too far behind, but like 20 thats old my god!
2. I’m trying to wrap my thoughts around the fact that people of the opposite gender, boys, have been calling me “hot”. I don’t even consider myself hot, maybe pretty but not hot, its flattering but weird and none of them are potential interests on my part so that sucks.. but i mean i guess i’m not butt ugly so thats nice
3. It’s strange how everything in your life can seem to be going so great except one tiny little thing maybe not so tiny, but one thing that just fucks up the rest of your mindset.. thats just annoying.
4. Yesterday this professional photographer told me I really had a good eye for photography and that I really stood out in the group of girls that she is working with. That actually made me incredibly happy! And then my friends sister asked me to take some head shots and photos of her for a website she’s making and that was exciting! but i’m also nervous cause I want them to come out good ya know but I just gotta have faith in myself because I semi know what I’m doing!
5. I should be doing homework but i’m not… ught f school i just want winter break
6. along with 4 one of my camera lenses is broken and attempting to deal with that its a major struggle….
7. I feel like i shared too much but like whatever enjoy my boring ass life that I am loving :)
thoughts of the night:
1. Jennifer lawerence is a goddess and i aspire to be her, people have told me i look like her i dont see that at all because she is absolutely gorgeous and that would be weird if i had a girl crush on someone who looked like me but whatever love her
2. along with my love for j lawerence i just really like boys. like i think thats all i think about ever oops. i dont know what happened to me but like actually all i want is to kiss boys and cuddle with boys and do other cute stuff.
3. going along with the last one i think im a little too desperate so i need to stop that cause thats bad and i dont want to be a desperate hopeless girl
4. Formal is over a month away but im already so excited and i just bought a dress but whoops dont have a date shit back to boys. maybe jennifer lawerence will go with me. and desperate again.
5. ya know sometimes i think what is life how do you do life. i wish i could do life like ezra koenig because god i think hes doing it so right. his latest insta post might have made my day maybe my whole week who knows.
6. i really should be studying but instead this post has gotten highly out of hand. oops see i suck at life.
ok goodbye fools